This is a repost from a blog I first published back on 8/13/06. I found it quite fitting as Lee and I continue to finalize plans and preparations for our wedding.
The last two weeks for me have been a learning lesson. A lesson in patience, forgiveness and love. In my desire to bask and celebrate in this wonderful relationship in which I find myself with Lee, I neglected to remember that like all living things, love continues to grow and evolve.
And love is exactly that. It is a living thing that needs to be nourished and cared for. It needs to be fed. It needs to be protected from threats, both external and internal. And when bruised, it needs time to heal. Like children, love is a gift from God that is created between two individuals and raised over time.
Love does not stay constant, and one would be a fool to think that everyday will be a magical high. Instead, there is an ebb and flow within a relationship. There is a steadiness that is dictated by life’s everyday occurrences. Every now and again, the winds of passion blow against the surface of this love and create those memorable highs, those splashes of happiness and joy that become fossilized in our memories. If we’re fortunate, we feel at the very least a little breeze in every day of our lives.
Yet there are some times when the wind does not blow. Days when the sun beats down so hard that the coolness of the water is temporarily replaced with lukewarm tepidity. It is an uncomfortable departure from the norm, but one that exists nonetheless. And not unlike a child that tests your patience or stretches the limits, the love in our life boils over and splashes onto the surface of the oven that is our hearts. It’s not planned or intentional or desired. It just happens.
And when it does, we’re left wondering why it happened in the first place. Why couldn’t we be more diligent in gauging the temperature and tending to the situation at hand? Where did we mess up? Where did I mess up?
But that’s the magic that is love. Just when you think it’s too hot to handle, the wind blows ever so gently to cool things off. It’s not always quick and mess-free and perfect, but at the same time it is never impossible. Sometimes it makes sense to let the stove cool off a bit before you try cleaning it. Sometimes it’s prudent to let reflection and introspection be the precursors to discussion and forgiveness. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that it’s not about two individuals, but rather one love.
What I have been the privilege to be a part of, this love built on honesty, sharing and sincerity, has been absolutely wonderful. It’s a glorious experience that grows bigger and greater with every day, and I am honored to say I feel the winds of passion in my life more often then not. And in those times of not, I know it’s not because it’s the beginning of the end, but rather a step in a continued process of learning and growing with someone else.
And what an incredibly rewarding process it is!