Gil's Love Fest

The following blog post is from my dear friend Lindsey Goodall. For Valentine's Day, I invited several fellow bloggers to come together and guest blog on each other's sites. I hope you take a moment to check out Lindsey's other posts and follow her on Twitter as well. Enjoy.

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For year’s I have been reading this blog and am so honored to have the opportunity to guest post here today! Always so moved and inspired by Gil’s writing, it would have never even occurred to me that I would be working on a piece to submit to be featured here. But had you told me the opportunity would arise and that the topic he would propose for a guest posting round robin, would be "love". . . I would have not been surprised in the least.

More specifically, what he proposed was that several of us bloggers we write about something we love. Not someone we love, but “causes or dreams” near and dear to our hearts. We would then share our writing with another to be posted on their blog as a sort of guest post love fest celebrating Valentine’s day. Based on the alphabetical order of our last names, I was assigned to write for Gil’s blog. So here I am, writing about love on the blog of the one person in my life, who so clearly exemplifies the word for me. So, without further ado, I bring you, not a post about a cause or dream I hold dear to my heart, rather a post that will likely make the owner of this blog second guess his decision to suggest a love fest.

Gil Gonzalez values love and LIVES love more than any other human being I've ever known. Simply put Gil defines MAN LOVE.

Before we go any further, let me clarify here, Gil is a guys guy. I am not trying to revoke his man card here. If you know Gil in the real world or only in cyberspace, you know that Gil is a guy’s guy. He breathes sports and relishes in potty humor just like the best of them. I have no doubt that he could walk up to any man in the world and kick start a conversation about business, politics, sports or beer/tequila. Gil is 100% dude despite his capacity to love.

Gil adores his children and his A-mazing wife, Lee, in the ways you would expect a doting father and husband to do. Gil kicks it up a notch, and raises the bar for all you other Y-chromosers, though when it comes to giving love to everyone else in his life. I've written before about how touched I was when he took the time to protect my personal branding and then sent me a detailed explanation of why he bothered. Here's the rub though. . . I am just one of a thousand people that Gil treats this way.

Over the years, I have seen him embrace and encourage every single person he meets. He values people and treasures relationships. The best part, is that he is not afraid to share it because of man card revocation or because of crossing any awkward social boundaries. He gives his love without limitation.

A few years ago, Gil and I jumped out of a plane together (shout out to Kara and Kelly). I was the first to jump, and as I took one glance back at my friends before flying the friendly skies, with sheer panic on his face, I saw Gil mouthing "I LOVE YOU". While that sentiment is generally shared by those in more intimate relationships, this is what Gil does that sets him apart. He gives it so freely, that it is often received in the precisely right moment.

We were all terrified about what we were doing, having just watched the "you are going to die video", but in the years since that experience, I've often felt that what he gave me, by saying those 3 little words, was really an "everything is going to be alright" at a time that I needed to hear it most in my life. Honestly, he probably just didn't know what else to say in that incredibly adrenaline filled moment and once in a lifetime moment, but had that jump taken a horrible turn for the worse, the last words I would have heard would have been "I love you". That, my friends, was a gift.

Today, Valentine’s day, I would encourage you to do as Gil so often does. Give the gift of the words “I love you”, without restraint. Regardless of the context of your relationship with them, share the love. Instead of hogging the love only for those only in your inner circle, spread it outside that circle to other people in your life as well!

Oh, and I love you too, Gil! It is truly and honor and a privilege to be your friend!

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After much chastisement from friends, Lindsey Goodall has reluctantly accepted the title of “do-gooder”. In addition to her non-profit work and play, she is a writer, runner, and late bloomer. You can read all about her quest for coming clean with herself at www.3fourletterwords.blogspot.com.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Today has been an interesting day. It’s been one filled with reminders about decision making.

First, I read my friend Lindey’s blog about decision making (most excellent post by her, by the way). Her blog entry was sparked by hear reading today’s blog by Steven Furtick (again, a wonderful read). Then I stumbled across the story of Keith Fitzhugh and his decision to stay with his current job as a train conductor than join the NY Jets.

When you think about it, every day is just filled with different types of decisions. Beginning with whether or not to snooze in the morning, to what to wear, to what to eat; our days can be nothing but decision after decision after decision. For example, right now you’ve made the decision to take ten minutes out of your day to read this blog (and I greatly thank you for it). And if we stop to think about the constant process of having to choose we undertake ever day, it can become overwhelming.

As I was planning for a blog entry I want to write later this month, I came across, ironically enough, a blog I wrote years ago about making decisions, and given the theme of the day, I’d like to re-post it and share it with you.

For What It's Worth (Originally Posted December 21, 2005)

One dirty little secret that no one likes to talk about is that for everything in life there is a cost. Whether tangible or not, there is a cost for everything we do and everything we acquire. It’s inevitable. You may be asking yourself, “How so?” Let me try to explain.

In economics, there is the concept of opportunity costs. The cost of taking $1 million and investing it in an expansion to your restaurant, as an example, is what that money would have earned in interest had you just put it in the bank. Similarly, the cost of me going out and riding my motorcycle on a Saturday afternoon is the time I could have shared with my kids or someone else close to me. The reverse it also true. Time spent on such things as family obligations and so forth comes at a cost of individual freedom, personal time, etc.

The difference is that everyone’s level of value with regards to time and money is different. Some people value their time alone, be it for reflection or productive activities, whereas some people just love being in the company of others. Value is the key word here. Value, in economics, is not a tangible amount or number. Rather, it is the psychological equity we place on something. A homeless person places more value on a coat that will protect him from the elements than does a billionaire.

So it really comes down to perspective. As the cliché goes, all things are relative. The question is, what level of cost are you willing to endure for a valued – or more appropriately, desired – return? I have a friend who recently underwent a surgical procedure to correct a problem she was experiencing with her sinuses. Going into the surgery, there was the usual anxiety and headaches that arise from making sure all things are in order. Pre-op visits, blood work, etc. Then, following the surgery there is the typical discomfort and restlessness that comes with the recovery process. The end result, she hopes, is a better day-to-day life. No more issues with not being able to breathe properly or feeling like her throat is swollen. I am confident it will all be as expected, and in the long run she will look back knowing the ‘cost’ was totally worth the ‘value’ she realized.

Although that example is very clear-cut, most decisions in life are not. I believe the reason for this comes down to faith and believing the end result is worth the cost. “I’m not sure if I should. I don’t know if I can.” We all hide behind those words at times, especially when pressed for a decision. “I need more time. I don’t want to ruin anything.” It’s amazing how much more simple our lives could be if only we had more faith in ourselves, in our judgment, and in the people with whom we interact.

It’s not just about risk analysis or return on investments. It’s also about belief. That deep, strong, inner belief that lives in our gut and just tells us without equivocation, “You can do it. It will all be okay.” It’s the knowledge that although the initial ‘cost’ may be painful, it is temporary and will give way to the ‘value’ we seek. It’s okay to think about it. It’s okay to look at it five ways from Sunday. It’s okay to be deliberate in an attempt to be certain. But in the end, you still have to go through with it.

The funny thing is that value is not found so much in the result of the decision, but rather in making the decision in the first place.